Blog

The following is a true story. The use of real names is not coincidental.

Law & Order SFX: Dun dun

It all started one day when I got tired of looking at that gun metal coloured breaker box on the wall. All of the lovely artistic colour around it and yuck, this ugly breaker box.

After years of torment, I had to do something about it, but what? Then, a very minor epiphany. A light bulb lit up in my brain. Granted, it was a small light bulb, but at least it still worked, “kinda.” I decided that I was going to spray paint the breaker box in metallic copper. I am quite fond of metallic copper and spray paint, so it was the perfect solution.

Before all the spraying fun could begin though, I had to do the painter’s tape thing. I’ve always thought this is the worst part about painting…but I also knew I was not Mr. Accuracy with my aim.

Have you ever noticed all the hours of preparation time needed before enjoying that big meal which everyone then devours in less than twenty minutes? Actually, all of life is like this. This includes painting.

Taping done, I unleashed the metallic copper spray paint. Oh, what a feeling. But then, trouble. The tip you push down to propel the paint isn’t of great quality. Sometimes you push down and get nothing. Then you get too much. You push down repeatedly, then a little down and slightly sideways. Occasionally the right amount actually comes out. On and on it goes as you start to feel the discomfort in your hand’s joints and muscles. Perseverance is needed here and finally, I’m done. My hand thanks me.

A little time passing music please.

You know, it’s looking pretty good as I peel away the tape. And then, another small light bulb turns on in my little cranium. I should paint part of the wall. “It would look cool,” I said to myself. Oh oh, this project is suddenly expanding. So, I had to choose a paint colour to complement my metallic copper coloured breaker box. It was easier than I thought. I was able to very quickly determine the colour. It was Behr Paint’s flat latex colour called “Canyon Dusk.” With a name like that, how could I go wrong?

So, I came home with a litre of “Canyon Dusk” paint, two stir sticks, and a three inch brush. Since I was only painting thirty-two square feet, I bought a relatively inexpensive brush.

Next thing I know, I’m taping again. Still don’t care too much for this part. Then it was “Go Time.” Swishing here, swishing there, swishing everywhere. Oh, what fun. But, of course, as with everything in life, there is tribulation. My relatively inexpensive paint brush…it still wasn’t cheap…was losing hair faster than I lost my own. I’m picking up hair here, there and everywhere. It’s a good thing this was latex paint which cleans up with water. Oil paint would have been a horror show. Finally, I was done.

Will it actually look good? Time will tell the tale at the “Big Reveal” a few hours later when you, with some satisfaction, rip off the painter’s tape and see if your work of art is a success.

A little more time passing music please.

Time for the “Big Reveal.” And to my joyous surprise it actually looks pretty good. And yes, peeling off the painter’s tape was very cathartic. The project was successfully completed.

Or was it? That darn little light bulb turned on again. Because the area I painted was pretty small, and I had well over three quarters of a tin still brimming with “Canyon Dusk,” I couldn’t just end this project now. But what to paint…and paint in an aesthetically pleasing way from an interior design perspective? I was NOT going to paint the whole place this colour. This was an accent colour. It was also a physical impossibility on my part. So, I sat down and contemplated.      

Lots more time passing music please.

After some slow moving synaptic juxtaposition processing, I realized the perfect place to use a little more “Canyon Dusk.” You know, this name almost sounds like the name of some cosmetic or drug. The wall I selected was small, but very strategic. What was also nice, it did not require me to move tons of stuff around, and not much taping was necessary. You have to remember, I’m not a kid anymore. I could see a nap down the road after the completion of this project. This was going to be the end of the project, by the way. I don’t care if I have a super nova flash of light in my head.

So, here we go again with the taping. This time though, it was easier to do, and, I realized it was going to be the last of the taping. There was one important change in equipment. I went out to a dollar store and bought a two dollar, two and a half inch brush. I had thought about doing this at the beginning. For two bucks, it was worth it to try it out. Let’s paint.

More time passing music please.

The big moment was at hand. Time for the “Reveal.” The cheap paint brush had performed magnificently. Off came the tape and…to my eyes it was a masterpiece. I have to admit, it felt darn good.

While waiting for the paint to dry, I also painted a small pot light in “Canyon Dusk.” It was tricky to paint, but I really liked the way it looked on the wall at the end. For a few very small touch ups, I used a small, kids’ style paint brush. It worked like a charm.

It’s now official…the project is over. It was work, but it was fun too…and it left you feeling like you accomplished something. In life, be it big or be it small, all accomplishments should be celebrated. Now, I think it’s time for a nap.

Music please.

Oh yeah…one more thing. You might be wondering what I did with the remaining metallic copper spray paint and the “Canyon Dusk” latex paint.

I have this old, but durable, large storage foot stool made of faux dark brown leather. You access the inside by taking off the top, padded lid. I decided to finish off the spray paint on the lid. I had no idea if it would work, but that was part of the fun. The result was actually pretty decent. The lid had a nice, “artsy kinda,” look to it that played well off the dark brown on the rest of the foot stool. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

As for “Canyon Dusk,” it is still over half full and doing exactly what I want it to do…gathering dust.